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Nils Parker
Nils Parker

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Apr 27, 2022

Every New Parent Should Have a Panic Mantra

My son is pandemic years old. He was born late in the evening on March 10, 2020. The last normal day of this decade. The last normal day…ever, maybe. The following day, while our new family holed up in the quiet of the birthing suite after a long labor that…

Parenting

8 min read

Every New Parent Should Have a Panic Mantra
Every New Parent Should Have a Panic Mantra
Parenting

8 min read


Nov 18, 2021

The Soul of the Beagle

The Soul of the Beagle Today, we have to say goodbye to Buckley the Beagle. A great dog of many names: Floppers. Snouty. FlopperSnout. BuckleyFlopperSnout (this was our WiFi password for three years). Buddy. Doodle. Buckles. Mr. Buckles. Buck Buck. Buckster. Sweet Boy. Little Baby Buckley. Buckley’s visible decline came…

10 min read

The Soul of the Beagle
The Soul of the Beagle

10 min read


Published in THOSE PEOPLE

·Dec 9, 2014

The Tyranny of Alzheimer’s & Choosing Life After Death

I have known my wife nearly 9 years. We have been together seriously for 8 of those, and married for almost six. In that time, I got to know her (large) family very well; better than most of my own family really. There was only one person I never got…

6 min read

6 min read


Jun 2, 2014

You Do CrossFit? Tell Me More!

How the world’s hottest fitness craze really is like a cult — In the last few years, a number of my friends have taken up CrossFit. I know this because they don’t shut up about it. When I’m around more than one of them at a time, it completely changes the way we socialize and speak. I’ve sit through business dinners at…

7 min read

You Do CrossFit? Tell Me More!
You Do CrossFit? Tell Me More!

7 min read


Published in THOSE PEOPLE

·Mar 25, 2014

Why Do We All Hate Duke?

A look at the school is a look in the mirror — Duke University is the smallest, smartest and most selective of the three colleges in the Raleigh-Durham area of North Carolina (the other two are UNC and NC State). …

9 min read

Why Do We All Hate Duke?
Why Do We All Hate Duke?

9 min read


Published in THOSE PEOPLE

·Mar 7, 2014

From Bags to Bitches

How America’s Dog Parks are just like its High Schools — The ubiquity of dog parks in America’s towns and cities is a relatively recent phenomenon. I grew up in a progressive, pet-friendly Northern California town of 75,000 and we didn’t get a dog park until 2002. Like most Americans over 30, as a child and then as a teenager, when…

15 min read

From Bags to Bitches
From Bags to Bitches

15 min read


Published in THOSE PEOPLE

·Feb 26, 2014

America’s Angriest Store

How Whole Foods Attracts Complete Shitheads. — I’ve shopped at Whole Foods in every time zone, in at least 10 different cities: LA, San Francisco, Seattle, Denver, Austin, Chicago, Milwaukee, New York, DC and Richmond, VA. I love Whole Foods. Scratch that, I love the products Whole Foods sells, no matter what other people might have to…

IMHO

9 min read

America’s Angriest Store
America’s Angriest Store
IMHO

9 min read


Feb 21, 2014

Your Kid is a Little Asshole

And guess what: it’s all your fault — One of my best friends from college is a very successful, accomplished woman. Her name is Sarah, but that’s not important here. Sarah’s childhood was a paint-by-numbers version of the Ugly Duckling fairy tale, set in the hilly exurbs of Greater Los Angeles during that odd transitional period in American…

11 min read

Your Kid is a Little Asshole
Your Kid is a Little Asshole

11 min read


Dec 19, 2013

Two Airlines Make the Skies a Little Friendlier

photo from digitaltrends.com In a rare bout of coordinated lucidity from an industry known for making even its most loyal customers question the existence of God or justice, Delta Airlines and Jet Blue have announced they are banning in-flight voice calls on all their planes. …

4 min read

Two Airlines Make the Skies a Little Friendlier
Two Airlines Make the Skies a Little Friendlier

4 min read


Jul 9, 2013

The Angel in the Marble

Modern Life Lessons from History’s Greatest Sculptor — I edit books for a living. Actually, that’s not true. I edit manuscripts. When I am done (and they are formatted), then they are books. Before they get to me, most manuscripts are essentially a collection of strong ideas and great stories that have been suffocated by authorial self-doubt, insecurity…

5 min read

The Angel in the Marble
The Angel in the Marble

5 min read

Nils Parker

Nils Parker

861 Followers

Writer/Screenwriter/Editor

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